And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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