You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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