So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
