margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
