just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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