Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
