At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
