So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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