im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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