Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
