Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
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Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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