My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
