Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
