And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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