You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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