MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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