naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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