I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
