Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
