So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
