i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
