kristin has been a bad kristin
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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