So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
