I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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