i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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