there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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