If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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