I could make wine with my vomit
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
