so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize