.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
