i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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