So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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