i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
