hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
