I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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