So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize