Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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