Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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