sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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