I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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