Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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