If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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