Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
