I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
