me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
