She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
