Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize