I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
