she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm jealous of your bromance
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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