Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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