I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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