And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
