8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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