put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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