it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
