Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
