explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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