Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
