Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
