So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she pinky promised me she was 18
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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