I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
