yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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