Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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